skoosiepants | Dudes, okay, WTF?

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Dudes, okay, WTF?

Have I been that out of the loop that I'm just hearing about this stupid Fanlib crap? Man, remember when I asked about it way back in March after I was contacted to beta or something? Dudes, I'm so glad that I'm a lazy flake and pretty much completely forgot about it right after telling them I'd help out - because Jesus, who wants to get caught up in that shit? If you ask me, it's just a stupid idea anyway, but I'm not much of a team player. I don't archive my stuff anywhere but here and my website, so. Plus, I'm HORRIBLE at fandom participation. I write, I read, I squeal about Patrick's tiny, tiny body and Spencer's truly amazing hips and John's thigh holster and Rodney's ass or whatever, and maybe I want to marry them all and have their babies or something, but I don't even IM, so. *shrugs* I'm off in my own world most of the day.

Speaking of babies,

civilbloodshed and I want Mikey & Alicia to get on with the getting on and give Gerard a niece/nephew already, because baby + Gerard = explosion of cute. He'd be the best uncle EVER with the cuddling and the happy, happy smiles. Now, go forth and write about Gerard and babies. Or puppies. I'm flexible like that. oh my god, Gerard and puppies! I think my brain just broke.

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"No, no, seriously, we could totally make out!" Brendon insists. "Just, like, remember to keep your hands out of my pants."

Ryan rolls his eyes and assures Brendon that really wouldn't be a problem. If they were actually going to make out. Which they aren't, because it's a completely lame idea.

Bob, who's been blatantly eavesdropping, thinks it's a great idea, mainly because it'll be hilarious to watch, and pops up out of the goat pen to tell them. Brendon kind of screams like a girl.

"I did not scream like a girl," Brendon says two seconds later as Ryan and Bob are laughing at him.

It was a very manly frightened exclamation. And he only jumped a little.

Bob crosses his arms over his chest. "You two. Get with the making out. Mikey's due back anytime now."

Ryan eyes him. "When did I say this was going to happen?"

Brendon is too busy putting on chapstick to say more than a muffled, "Yaaaay!"

Ryan shakes his head, because no way, but then Brendon lunges forward and catches his arms and totally just plants one on his mouth. Ryan's stunned still, and Bob goes, "Oh, come on, you can do better than that," and then Brendon's really kissing him, and he's actually sort of fantastic at it. Huh.

Brendon is a really, really (surprisingly) good kisser. Ryan wonders when and how his hand moved, cupping the back of Brendon's head and pulling him back when Brendon tries to move. Ryan opens his eyes for a split second and Brendon's grinning, ear to ear and bright like sunshine.

Bob blinks. "Huh."

Brendon says, “I’m awesome,” and somehow manages to not come off smug at all – just refreshingly honest, which is weird, but Brendon’s often described as refreshing and weird – and then he says, “Hey, hands, hands,” and bats at the fingers Ryan’d apparently hooked just under Brendon’s waistband at the line of his hip.

Someone clears their throat and Ryan glances behind him to find Mikey, and Mikey’s frowning a little, gaze sliding between Brendon and Ryan, and Ryan suddenly beams, because okay. Okay, this plan just might work.

Bob watches. This is really more interesting than the soaps that Ray likes to sneak in when he doesn't think people are looking. This is like As The Shelter Turns.

"Brendon weren't you supposed to be giving Clara a bath?" Mikey asks and Brendon shrugs beaming. "On it boss."

Ryan smiles sweetly, because maybe Brendon's not that dumb. And he's a really good kisser.

Jon pulls Brendon aside later to ask him what he's doing. He's worried. He doesn't know Brendon all that well yet, but the whole thing smells like a disaster waiting to happen.

Brendon says, "Hey, Jon Walker, you're sweet on me," grinning, and Jon shakes his head, trying his best to be totally serious in the face of Brendon's adorable cheekiness.

"I'm worried about you, doofus," Jon says, hooking an arm around Brendon's neck.

"Which means you're sweet on me," Brendon says completely and utterly sure. He's not quite certain, but he might put Jon Walker on that list of People He Might Let Below the Waist. The list is rather small and Jon should feel kind of honored about that.

Jon rolls his eyes and Brendon kisses his cheek. Brendon's of the mind that you get people used to you kissing on them.

The whole making out with Ryan thing the very first time was. Was just a thing. A plan of action. It subverts the original theory.

Jon taps a finger against Brendon's forehead. "Sometimes I worry about what thoughts are going through that pretty little head of yours, Urie."

Brendon smiles, snags Jon's finger and clasps their hands together, palm to palm.

Jon blinks at him. Seriously, Brendon is the most handsy guy he's ever known.

Gerard sees them from the window over the kitchen sink, holding hands, and takes in Jon's openly bewildered face. Brendon has that affect on a lot of people. He's still there, just lounging against the sill, when Mikey comes in, shaking his head.

"That... Brendon. He's kissing Ryan!" Mikey says grumbling and slamming the back door. The refrigerator door gets the same treatment in reverse.

Gerard watches Mikey and shakes his head. "Grow a pair."

"What?"

"I'm sorry did I stutter? Grow a pair, please." Gerard finishes smiling sweetly. Mikey was always a little slow on the uptake. Especially in ways of the heart. Or pants.

“I'm sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mikey says, the slightest bit haughtily, and Gerard rolls his eyes.

“Of course you don’t,” he says, and flicks Mikey’s ear. He’s not going to stick his nose any farther into Mikey’s love life, though. They’ve had fights about it in the past - about Pete, mainly, because while Pete’s a great guy, he was an asshole boyfriend - and the fights always just ended up with Mikey sullenly silent and Gerard piss-ass drunk, and Gerard doesn’t drink anymore.

Ryan is currently in turmoil. Turmoil, yeah. That's a good word for it. He's sitting in the middle of the back lawn, letting the kittens romp all over him, and thinking. Thinking hard.

So, he kissed Brendon. No big deal. And so Brendon is technically the third boy who's ever kissed him. [Technically Spencer was the first, but he's not sure if he's supposed to count that. Technically.]

He picks up Persephone and holds her up to his face, nose to nose. "What do you think?"

Sadly, Ryan still hasn't figured out kittenese.

Spencer hears about the incident from Bob – because Bob tells Spencer everything. Bob swears Spencer has some sort of voodoo power over him, like Spencer can just stare into his eyes and he’ll spill all his secrets. Not that Brendon and Ryan kissing is a secret or anything. It’s just that, honestly, he hadn’t planned on telling Spencer right that moment. He’d been planning on telling Frankie first, at least, mainly because Spencer’s kind of scary about Ryan - so, anyway, Spencer hears about it from Bob. He’s simultaneously jealous - because it’s not like he hasn’t thought about kissing Brendon before - and worried exactly how Jon is worried – although, at that point, he isn’t aware that Jon is worried, and if he was aware, he’d probably use it as an excuse to go commiserate with him about it – and he joins Ryan in the grass with the kittens and picks up Jon Jr. and cuddles the tabby against his chest and just stares at Ryan.

Too bad Spencer’s voodoo stare has long since stopped working on Ryan.

"So, make out with anyone lately?" Spencer finally says.

Ryan gives Spencer a look. Unfortunately while he's developed an immunity to voodoo stare. Spencer's also become immune to the Ross Stare of Indifference.

"Bob's got a big mouth."

Everyone knows that Bob's a gossipwhore when it comes to Spencer.

Spencer shrugs. "And?"

"And nothing. A big fat nothing," Ryan says, and Spencer knows it's as far from nothing as possible. "I'm not talking to you about it."

Spencer ducks his head, laughs a little into Jon Jr's furry body, because Ryan was so going to talk to him about it. It might just take a little time.

And meanwhile, Spencer thinks he'll just corner Brendon for a friendly chat.

Jon Jr. mrreows and flicks his tail slowly and Spencer laughs when it curls under his chin.

Ryan leans over and puts Persephone on Spencer's stomach. "I swear they like you more than me. And maybe Jon."

"That I doubt." Spencer says as Persephone kneads his stomach with sharp little kitten claws.

Spencer hears a click-snick and glances up to see Jon grinning at him from behind his camera a couple yards away. Spencer wills himself not to blush, but he feels his cheeks get hot anyway. Damn it. And then Coco tumbles into his lap and Jon Jr. falls asleep draped over his neck and Persephone folds her little paws under her chest on his stomach and starts purring.

“See, they love you,” Ryan says. Coltrane is the only one who’s not on top of Spencer, too busy stalking Ryan’s shoelaces.

Jon ambles over and crouches down next to Spencer and Ryan and the kittens, and Coco butts her head up against his palm, and Spencer tries not to think about how close Jon’s hand is to his crotch.

Ryan notices the blush and the way Spencer stills. Coco bites Jon's fingers and Jon laughs leaning in to rub his face against Coco's neck. Spencer makes an almost squeak and Ryan smirks.

Spencer fixes him with a death stare.

The stare that means, If you say anything Ryan I will kill you in your sleep. I swear that I will.

Ryan laughs and when Jon looks up Ryan pretends to couch and picks up Coltrane. "Dusty out here." He mumbles.

Jon is actually sort of captivated by Spencer in a totally platonic way. Seriously. He's just. Really pretty for a guy. And he's a kitten magnet and that is just too adorable for words.

"Hey," Spencer says softly. "Hey, Jon Walker, have a kitten," and he pushes Coco's little rump in his direction.

Ryan coughs again, or makes a gagging sound or something. "Seriously, allergies," he says, eyes wide and not fooling anybody.

"I saw Mikey go into the kitchen, Ryan. Why don't you go not flirt with him?" Spencer says smiling sweetly. Jon snickers and Coco bats at Jon's nose.

Ryan reach over and flicks Spencer's arm with his fingers. "Let's not discuss Not Flirting."

Spencer gives him the look again.

Bob just can't believe the show. Ryan and Spencer giving each other pissy looks over top fuzzy kittens, and Jon just looking confused. Seriously, he tells Gerard, "This is the gayest animal shelter in the greater new jersey area."

Mikey snorts from where he's sitting at the kitchen table.

"This isn't actually the shelter," Gerard points out. He pours Bob a glass of lemonade. "Actually, you know, this is my home."

The shelter is, like, there houses down, though, so Bob doesn't see the difference.

"So speaking of gay, how's Dr. Patrick? He giving you any check ups lately?" Mikey drawls and lights a cigarette. Gerard gives a longing look in the direction, but he stays where he is.

His new year's resolution was to quit. He's doing really well.

Frank really likes being around when Gerard has his one cigarette of the day. The sounds Gerard makes when he takes that first drag.

Bob says, "Dr. Patrick's doing fine, thanks," smiling and in no way taking the bait. He has plans for Dr. Patrick. Big plans. Plans that he has every intention of implementing as soon as he can be in the same room as him and not act like a complete idiot. Joe's been giving him conversation tips.

Joe and Patrick go way back. Bob isn't exactly sure how they know each other, but he thinks it has something to do with Pete.

That could be a good way to start the conversation, Bob thinks. 'How'd you meet Joe? How'd you meet Pete?' Bob is quickly compiling a List of Topics to Discuss with Dr. Patrick.

Folk music, Chicago, Prince, and now How You Met Joe and/or Pete.

Bob is all about being prepared. He feels like the last couple of times that he's been faced with Dr. Patrick he hasn't been prepared. He hasn't had a plan. Now he has a plan.

Sapphy and Virginia come waddling into the kitchen from the den, herded by Lefty and trailed by Frank. Frank's got T-Bone on his shoulder - T-Bone squawks, "Pretty Lady!" at Gerard and then says, "Hello!" and, "Frank's handsome! Handsome boy, handsome boy!"

"Huh," Mikey says. "That one's new."

Bob bursts out laughing, almost doubled over.

Frank grins. "We've been practicing," he says.

Gerard grins, too, ducks his head and fills Sapphy and Virginia's bowls full of their special blend of feed. Frank's sort of adorable all mischievous. Gerard is sort of sweet on Frank. He'd never tell him, but he kind of wants to hug him all the time.

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