skoosiepants | Dudes, okay, WTF?

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Dudes, okay, WTF?

Have I been that out of the loop that I'm just hearing about this stupid Fanlib crap? Man, remember when I asked about it way back in March after I was contacted to beta or something? Dudes, I'm so glad that I'm a lazy flake and pretty much completely forgot about it right after telling them I'd help out - because Jesus, who wants to get caught up in that shit? If you ask me, it's just a stupid idea anyway, but I'm not much of a team player. I don't archive my stuff anywhere but here and my website, so. Plus, I'm HORRIBLE at fandom participation. I write, I read, I squeal about Patrick's tiny, tiny body and Spencer's truly amazing hips and John's thigh holster and Rodney's ass or whatever, and maybe I want to marry them all and have their babies or something, but I don't even IM, so. *shrugs* I'm off in my own world most of the day.

Speaking of babies,

civilbloodshed and I want Mikey & Alicia to get on with the getting on and give Gerard a niece/nephew already, because baby + Gerard = explosion of cute. He'd be the best uncle EVER with the cuddling and the happy, happy smiles. Now, go forth and write about Gerard and babies. Or puppies. I'm flexible like that. oh my god, Gerard and puppies! I think my brain just broke.

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Ryan notices the blush and the way Spencer stills. Coco bites Jon's fingers and Jon laughs leaning in to rub his face against Coco's neck. Spencer makes an almost squeak and Ryan smirks.

Spencer fixes him with a death stare.

The stare that means, If you say anything Ryan I will kill you in your sleep. I swear that I will.

Ryan laughs and when Jon looks up Ryan pretends to couch and picks up Coltrane. "Dusty out here." He mumbles.

Jon is actually sort of captivated by Spencer in a totally platonic way. Seriously. He's just. Really pretty for a guy. And he's a kitten magnet and that is just too adorable for words.

"Hey," Spencer says softly. "Hey, Jon Walker, have a kitten," and he pushes Coco's little rump in his direction.

Ryan coughs again, or makes a gagging sound or something. "Seriously, allergies," he says, eyes wide and not fooling anybody.

"I saw Mikey go into the kitchen, Ryan. Why don't you go not flirt with him?" Spencer says smiling sweetly. Jon snickers and Coco bats at Jon's nose.

Ryan reach over and flicks Spencer's arm with his fingers. "Let's not discuss Not Flirting."

Spencer gives him the look again.

Bob just can't believe the show. Ryan and Spencer giving each other pissy looks over top fuzzy kittens, and Jon just looking confused. Seriously, he tells Gerard, "This is the gayest animal shelter in the greater new jersey area."

Mikey snorts from where he's sitting at the kitchen table.

"This isn't actually the shelter," Gerard points out. He pours Bob a glass of lemonade. "Actually, you know, this is my home."

The shelter is, like, there houses down, though, so Bob doesn't see the difference.

"So speaking of gay, how's Dr. Patrick? He giving you any check ups lately?" Mikey drawls and lights a cigarette. Gerard gives a longing look in the direction, but he stays where he is.

His new year's resolution was to quit. He's doing really well.

Frank really likes being around when Gerard has his one cigarette of the day. The sounds Gerard makes when he takes that first drag.

Bob says, "Dr. Patrick's doing fine, thanks," smiling and in no way taking the bait. He has plans for Dr. Patrick. Big plans. Plans that he has every intention of implementing as soon as he can be in the same room as him and not act like a complete idiot. Joe's been giving him conversation tips.

Joe and Patrick go way back. Bob isn't exactly sure how they know each other, but he thinks it has something to do with Pete.

That could be a good way to start the conversation, Bob thinks. 'How'd you meet Joe? How'd you meet Pete?' Bob is quickly compiling a List of Topics to Discuss with Dr. Patrick.

Folk music, Chicago, Prince, and now How You Met Joe and/or Pete.

Bob is all about being prepared. He feels like the last couple of times that he's been faced with Dr. Patrick he hasn't been prepared. He hasn't had a plan. Now he has a plan.

Sapphy and Virginia come waddling into the kitchen from the den, herded by Lefty and trailed by Frank. Frank's got T-Bone on his shoulder - T-Bone squawks, "Pretty Lady!" at Gerard and then says, "Hello!" and, "Frank's handsome! Handsome boy, handsome boy!"

"Huh," Mikey says. "That one's new."

Bob bursts out laughing, almost doubled over.

Frank grins. "We've been practicing," he says.

Gerard grins, too, ducks his head and fills Sapphy and Virginia's bowls full of their special blend of feed. Frank's sort of adorable all mischievous. Gerard is sort of sweet on Frank. He'd never tell him, but he kind of wants to hug him all the time.

Not that the entire house and greater tristate area doesn't know it. Gerard's oblivious to Frank's subtle and not so subtle flirting, but he thinks he's being subtle and slick with his crush.

"C'mere, T-Bone," Gerard says holding out his arm. "Pretty Lady!" The bird squawks.

Mikey and Bob share a look. Mikey and Bob have no room to talk, though, so they just roll their eyes as T-Bone flies across the room - nearly clipping Mikey's head - to land on Gerard's wrist.

And then Frank crosses the room to lean against Gerard's side. Subtle-like. Hips pressing. Frank practically bares his neck for Gerard, and Gerard just blushes faintly and ruffles the feathers on T-Bone's chest with a forefinger.

This house is the house of oblivious, Bob thinks and mentally sighs.

"You're a pretty thing," Gerard says and he tears his eyes away from Frank to look at T-Bone. "Such a pretty... bird." He murmurs and Frank moves, shifts to practically rub against Gerard's side.

"You should touch the back of his neck. He likes that," Frank says and Mikey rolls his eyes and Bob stifles a laugh.

Gerard blushes a hotly. "Oh, like this?"

“Mmm-hmm,” Frank murmurs, then lifts his hand to join Gerard’s, fingers brushing as they smooth down T-Bone’s bright green back.

T-Bone squawks, dances a little with his wings fluttering, then settles down again. He cocks his head and says, “Handsome boy.”

“Yeah, handsome boy,” Gerard automatically agrees, then realizes how blatantly that references Frank and he thinks maybe he’s going to be permanently red until the end of time. Jesus.

“Oh my god,” Mikey mutters. He feels like covering his eyes or something. They’re so pathetic.

Bob leans in and whispers. "You think if we bought them each a clue that they'd take it."

Mikey shakes his head. "Not even with an instruction manual."

Gerard swallows and he does not look at Frank. Does not. Can not. That would be obvious. "Uhm, do you want..."

"Yeah?" Frank asks leaning forward, smiling.

"Do you want to help me with the birds?" Gerard asks in a rush.

Frank's smile falters a bit, but he nods. "Sure, love to."

"Not even with an instruction manual and a map, Bryar." Mikey says rolling his eyes.

While Frank and Gerard are making cow-eyes at each other over the bird feed, Gabe and William – or really just William, since Gabe sort of just stares eerily at Brendon and gives him this totally scary smile - are harassing Brendon about his abstinence – really, it’s his fault for wandering that close to the Fence. William doesn’t quite get it.

“I don’t have sex,” Brendon explains.

“Like, with people who you aren’t dating?” William asks. He looks really puzzled.

“Like, I don’t have sex at all.” Brendon doesn’t actually mind the questions. He’s open about it.

William rubs a hand over his mouth. “Have you ever had sex?” he asks, sort of slyly, licking his lips, and Gabe’s eyes go narrow and dark behind William.

“Um. Yes?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but William licked his lips.

"So, you have...a renewed virginity or something?" William asks and leans forward, totally invading Brendon's space, as William is wont to do.

Brendon licks his lips (monkey see...) and shrugs and nods. "Sort of. I mean, I had it once. And it was nice, but not something I want to do again. Not unless it mattered."

Gabe and William both blink at Brendon. "How does it not matter?"

Gabe nudges William. "Maybe he means the times you get off."

William nods. "Well, yeah. That would totally matter."

Then William freezes. "Wait," he says. "Wait, you don't have, like," he makes some obscene gestures, "a problem, do you?"

Brendon follows William's hand motions, forehead crinkling. "What?"

Gabe snickers. "Oh, dude."

"What? What are you--Oh my god, are you--" Brendon covers his face with his hand. "No. No," he states emphatically. "And stop doing that, Bill, please stop." He can't help giggling a little, though.

Bill thinks that Brendon giggling is adorable. He wonders what it'd sound like naked. He likes to categorize the people he knows by the times he's seen them naked and the things that they're doing while naked.

Brendon, he thinks, would be lovely naked and giggling. William leans forward and Brendon steps forward and gives William a hug. "You're funny."

"Oh yeah, he's a riot," Gabe says. He folds his arms over the top of the fence and waggles his eyebrows. "Got a hug for me there, Urie?"

Brendon's been warned about Gabe. Gerard sat him down and gave him The Talk. He's not supposed to get within touching distance. He doesn't like to hurt anyone's feelings, though, so he shuffles forward, towards the half open gate. William steps aside to let him pass, and, okay, Brendon's super curious. What actually happens on The Other Side Of The Fence?

Brendon peers around the gate and he's surprised to find that it's not all beer cans and used condoms or anything of the Sodom and Gomorrah that Gerard was implying. It's nice and clean.

Surprisingly so, and Brendon immediately feels bad about prejudging Gabe.

Gabe's arms swallow him up in a hug and Brendon smiles. Gabe's not such a bad...

"HEY!" Brendon jumps back smacking Gabe's hands away from his ass. Gabe's fingers were going down between... "You... you stay on that side." Brendon says, blushing furiously.

Gabe laughs. "Oh, come on. It'll matter," he says, and Brendon scowls.

He's pretty easy-going, but he's not keen on being made fun of so meanly. "You're mean. You are so mean, Gabe," he says.

William has a sudden and very weird protective urge towards Brendon and slips his arm around Brendon's shoulders in possibly the least sexy move he's ever made. That's not to say it isn't sexy, but it's not very. He cuddles Brendon close to his side and pets his hair. "There now," he says. "I won't let Gabe molest you, young Brendon. You may depend on me."

Brendon leans against William and he has the urge to stick his tongue out at Gabe. Gabe is a bad, bad man. William is nice.

"You can maybe be on the list," Brendon says and hugs William. He brightens when Jon comes out of the main house. "Hey Jon! Jon! The Ritters' cow is having a calf! You want to come see it?"

The Ritters live behind Gerard. Tyson had asked for a dog for Christmas about five years ago, and instead his parents gave him a Belted Galloway. Her name's Lula Bell and Tyson's pretty attached to her. He's super worried about the birth, even though Nick insists it'll be fine.

Nick assists the local large animal vet. He's not really a Tech, but he's been helping out so long he knows a lot anyway.

Jon is still toying with the idea of following in Dr. Patrick's footsteps. (He has to remember not to follow so closely behind or Bob will kick his ass.) Brendon's good company on these outings.

Brendon's kind of a doof, but he's a goodhearted one and he distracts Ty from being worried and Nick kind of could kiss that Urie kid.

Despite working for quite a while at the shelter, Brendon has never actually seen any animal give birth.

He's seen broken bones and routine checkups and all sorts of needle-involved things, and he's got a relatively tough stomach. He's super excited for Lula Bell to drop her calf, but once it gets down to the wire, once he sees goop and blood and the first slimy hoof he gets a little light-headed, and the next thing he knows, he's blinking up at Jon from the hay-scented ground.

"What happened?" he asks.

Jon's lips quirk up. "You fainted."

Brendon groans. "Do not tell Ryan." He struggles to sit up and Jon has to help him. Ty comes back with a cool bottle of water. "Here," he says and Brendon blushes. He was there so he could help and now he's the one that needs taking care of.

Nick clears his throat right before there's a faint bleating sound.

Ty whips around and he goes to hug Lula Bell around the neck. "That's my girl. Ohhh, look how pretty she is."

Dudes, okay, WTF?

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