The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris

I heart J.

He sent me off to work this morning with a ziplock bag full of little chocolate donuts and cookies.

And he's been emailing me random facts about Chuck Norris:

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 80's.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

ETA: Although clearly J is evil, since he just called me to tell me he was watching The Triangle with David Hewlett (whom I love with all my heart) And I'm stuck at sucky work while he's wallowing in the wonderfulness of hewlett and dan cortez and luke perry *glares*

SGA FIC: Once Upon a Furry Octopus

Title: Once Upon a Furry Octopus
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Word count: ~6,000
Spoilers: er... not really, although a few vague mentions of stuff in past episodes (up to only Epiphany)
Summary: He was an intelligent, intuitive pet, but he wasn’t going to start sniffing out ZPMs or hidden Ancient weaponry or detailed instructions on how to kill a Wraith with a common household item. A pen, for instance.
A/N: This is nearly incoherent cracky cheese-fluff with little to no plot at all, and I wash my hands of it. Seriously, I'm all over the place with this. Next, I'm going back to AUs. Back to the 80s, even.



rensreality101: check out her Ernie icon!
By crimsonclad: Ernie with pen
By nunshavingfun: Ernie sketch
Wonderful Ernie pic below by dacey.



( Once Upon a Furry Octopus )