pants to match

Title: The Entirely Wrong Way (1/2)
Rating: PG-13 (I seriously thought it would be more, but alas, no go)
Pairings/characters: Hermione/Blaise, Draco/Ron, a few spatterings of others. Various persons pop up here and there.
Summary: The Honorable Hermione Granger always seemed to get into the most horrendous scrapes. A Pirate!AU with Captain Draco Malfoy at the helm of The Tidy Squall, and Mr. Blaise Zabini at his side.
The Long List of Important Story Notes and Warnings!!!!
I hate research. You're lucky I even bothered with a few details in this *grins winningly*
~ "Old coat" is an old sailor, not a misspelling of "old coot" - just to clarify.
~ The Abacos Islands are a string of largely uninhabited islands in the Carribean, however I doubt they were called Abacos when this story takes place - I'm not even going to bother to pin down a date, but 16 or 17 hundreds thereabout - but I don't care. I'm calling them Abacos. Blue Cay is completely fictional.
~ Good King Wenceslas was written far after this adventure as well, but I liked the idea of Hermione's father singing that particular ditty, so I left it in.
~ The ages of everyone are mixed up for the purpose of some accuracy to the time period. And I use the phrase "some accuracy" quite loosely. Draco and Blaise are early 30's, Hermione, Hannah and Ron are barely 17 or so, and everyone else it doesn't much matter. You can just imagine for them.
~ I purposely abuse the word "aye" because I love it so. Also, I take full advantage of the "Pirates" poke from PotC - which I shan't explain but you'll be able to pick up on it, I'm sure.
~ Some of you may hate me for my characterization of Harry in this. I apologize in advance.

Lastly!! This turned out incredibly fluffy, everyone is OOC, my language is much more verbose - I think it's my inner romance novelist coming out - because, oh yes. This has Harlequin stamped all over it. I wrote this entirely for my own amusement. Hopefully some of you will enjoy it as well.
And it's open-ended, nothing quite completely wrapped up, because I might possibly write in this world again :)

( The Entirely Wrong Way: Part One )

OMG it's a complete mess!!!!!!!! We have nasty fleas!!! It wouldn't be so bad - besides the whole infestation thing - if it wasn't for my bunny. She eats everything, so we'll have to be very careful in treating the area of her room. And her, too. Rabbits have delicate constitutions, and I've already told J that now that Maude's on regular flea meds, we can't let Happy groom her anymore. It's all horrid!!!!!!!!

Other than that, though, my PIRATE!fic has hit 23 pages and there's quite a bit more I want to fit in. Plus, I thought it was going to be a rough and tumble sort of thing - which I'm sure everyone would've enjoyed - except it went serious on me at parts, and Draco's protective urges came out, and Blaise is getting entirely too soft about Hermione and Hannah just went completely wild, so. It's going to be so very cheesy but hopefully still enjoyable. Man, though. I write some polite pirates. Cutting, maybe. Bloodthirsty, yes. But Blaise and Draco seem to have held onto their manners. Gentlemen pirates, let's call them.

Oh, and I'm totally fucking with everyone's ages. Just so you're forewarned. Blaise and Draco are much older than the girls and Ron. Not, like, decrepit old. Probably just late 20s or early 30s to their 17 or so. FUN!!!!! WOOHOOOO!!!! ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS!!!!!!!!!!

I've had quite a bit of halloween candy, if you haven't guessed.

I've got an all day bachelorette party tomorrow, so I won't be around at all, but I'm working steadily on my pirate piece, and having more fun than melted cheese :)

another random snippet:

( “Look,” Hannah said, spine finally gaining the steel Hermione had seen so often when she dealt with her pompously overbearing step-father, “we’ve a boy aboard the Clamoring Sea Hag, and we want him back.” )

ETA: meme gakked from szm


Mean lil fellow, arn't you?


What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*giggles*

1. My attention span is disturbingly short

2. My Quiet One's gift-fic muse is being obstinately broody and non-Christmas-y

3. Chapter 18 of Origin of Storms sucks.

4. Ron and Draco shagging makes me happy.

So... early Halloween present: Wench!Ron was birthed by ladybeth, although I dont think this is quite what she had in mind *grins*

This is part one (?) of an AU Mutiny!verse cookie - if Archenemy and Endless Love never happened, so some pirate references may not make sense unless you've read Mutiny!. But seriously, there isn't much plot, so it doesn't much matter :) This is slash, dirty R, with a possible NC-17 continuation...

( Halloween Treat )

I heart the book of ratings. Check out Aspects of Pirates, part 1 and part 2.

On Eye Patches:

"The open sea must be a pretty risky place for eye hazards. I'm not sure what specifically is likely to take your eye out and leave the rest of your face largely intact. I'm guessing carelessly handled sextants and spyglasses are the cause more often than your average salty sea-dog is likely to admit. "Me eye was taken by the tip of Long Jack Scabbard's sword" sounds a lot better than "Well, it was a stormy day and those sextants are really pokey.""

Funny, funny stuff.