pants to match

Title: No Myth
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG-13
Story note: Fairytale AU
Word count: 11,391
Summary: True Love’s Kiss = Unbelievably Ridiculous Variable of Plan
A/N: I'm sorry. Truly very sorry. This is an extremely bastardized version of Sleeping Beauty, in which neither John nor Rodney is the beauty in question, 'cause what's the fun in having John fight a dragon if Rodney isn't there to yell at him?
Massive thanks go to sga_addicted for the swift beta. I've also made a mini-glossary of terms. It'll help with Ronon.



( No Myth )

This SGA fic is turning out so fanciful and hokey. I love it. HOKEY!!! Isn't that a male turkey? I should know, since my brother went to va tech, but I can't remember for sure. Anywhos.

His side hurt. His side hurt and he was pretty sure a few of his ribs were broken. He wasn’t going to dismiss the possibility of a concussion either, so he decided that he liked the nice, safe hole he’d dropped into just fine.

And then Ronon landed in front of him, tall and broad and light on his big feet with the white flash of a grin baring his teeth. “You stuck?” he asked, and John cursed, “Son of a bitch,” under his breath.

So I was walking to work and I suddenly got a vision of toddler!Rodney accusing toddler!John of taking the last pudding cup. And toddler!John just sits there clutching his spoon, face smeared and hair going every which way and he's giving Rodney his "ooookay" look coupled with his "are you kidding me?" look, also coupled with his "you're kind of amusing" look.

And then, because my brain leaps this way, I automatically thought: Oh my god, John is so totally Kermit from Muppet Babies!!!

And then I had to cast Rodney as Miss Piggy (work with me here), Teyla and Ronon (with their sibling vibe; yeah, I see it) as Skeeter and Scooter, Lorne as Rawlf (for no other reason than I always thought Rawlf was half laughing at everyone else, and Lorne's sort of got that "seriously, wtf am I doing here?" thing coupled with the "hey, this is kinda cool" thing going on), Beckett as Bunsen and I have no idea who as Beaker (Beaker's hard to cast), Kavanaugh as Gonzo ('cause Gonzo caught a lot of flack, didn't he?), and maybe we can stretch enzymed Ford into a slightly more coherent Animal. Oh, and Elizabeth is so completely Nanny. Totally. Add maybe a flavor of SG-1 with Jack and Daniel as Uncles Statler and Waldorf, and dude. It's a party.

So anyway I'm really not going to write this. Honestly. So. Feel free to run away with it and make it your own. Or just point and laugh at me *nods*

ETA: as msgordo has pointed out, Radek would make a lovely Beaker *grins* We're ready for action! Only not from me. I'm just gonna poke this bunny with a stick from a safe distance.