Either someone has to stop me...

[skoosiepants]

Or you people have to help me write these.

I love teen novels. I love cheesey coming-of-age, god, especially early 80's teen books. Paula Danziger? *loves* Judy Blume? Is there anything better? Harlequin cheese of the teenie bopper kind? Dude! G-rated love stories with fifteen-yr-olds!

And when I can't sleep at night, my mind goes on rabid tangents. There is no way in hell I want to actually write these - no way in hell - but coming up with the sums have been fun. I've only got two down, but I've even got a title for the series.

I would pretty much be willing to have anyone's babies who decides to run with these. Seriously.

They are called the No Boys Allowed fics. They are all completely AU crack. Teen romance. Chock full of growing pains. G to PG situations. PG-13 in a pinch.

And, DUDES, you remember that pairing I said made puppies cry? The one I can't even read anymore? Yeah, the first one totally had to be it. I don't know why, but it's the way it came out...



This Means War!

At fourteen, Ginny Weasley was all long, gangly legs and thin arms, and she could fold herself up like a spider in her hidey-hole at the back of her walk-in closet. She was flame-haired and sun-freckled and wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, and out of everything in the entire world, Ginny wanted a bra. Any sort of bra, really, because she was fourteen and flat-chested, and her mum called her a late-bloomer while her six horrible, smelly, disgusting older brothers called her the Boobless Wonder. Oh, how she hated them – how she hated boys. Especially Ron’s new mate with the spazzy hair and the broken specs who seemed to rib her just as easily as the twins. Fred and George, being related, were armed with a certain level of immunity to her ire – her mum and dad helpfully took care of them for her. But Harry Potter… Harry Potter, this means war!

The Boy Next Door

When Hermione Granger was twelve, she’d been firmly labeled a nerd; a bushy-haired know-it-all who was too bossy for her own good. And she’d hated the boy responsible for those taunts ever since. Specifically, the boy who lived next door - sloe-eyed Blaise Zabini with his sly smirks and his fast hands that’d landed more than one girl in unmentionable trouble. Or so the rumors went.

When they end up assigned to the same school project, Hermione’s determined not to let the prat get to her, or get in her way of getting top marks. But Zabini turns out to be surprisingly smart, if obnoxious and arrogant, and his wicked sense of humor is strangely appealing… She better watch out, or she just might fall for the boy next door.

*giggles insanely* *runs off*

Comments

[fate-envies-us.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha...I remember those books! And...those summaries really do sound like the summaries on the back of the books. Did you ever read the Love Stories books? I loved those things.

[alexia75.livejournal.com]

They are AWESOME!

If I didn't have so much stuff to do at the moment I would seriously take you up on the offer.

*is soo seriously tempted right now* :D

[likecandy-sweet.livejournal.com]

Oh my God! I love it! You should totally write these.
*giggles insanely* I still have my copy of The Makeover Summer by . . . by . . . well, I still have my copy. That's what's really important.

Anyway. So great. Cheesy goodness.

[vafizziks.livejournal.com]

Those were both hilarious. I too loved those teen romance books (so much so that my original novel is sorta like that, but not so cheesy and...er...definitely not PG, but I digress).

You should totally write one of those...oh that's right, we're supposed to be stopping you. Oh, Skoosie, don't write it. Really. Don't. Stop.

[tin-henneth.livejournal.com]

Ah, the good ol' slightly frightening days of childhood. Judy Blume! There is no better.

Those summaries do sound eerily on.

And, if I could physically write fluff/crack I would take you up on this in a second.

-tinhen

[shmanet-janet.livejournal.com]

*giggles insanely*

oh god, thats *hee* thats awesome.

last year for some report or other, i totally gutted one of those eighties teen romance novels. the synopsis of the thing was basically that this girls' mom was getting remarried and the guy she was getting married to has a really hot son. so this girl,wants to seduce the son...er except not really because it was a teen romance novel. but she has these ridiculous fantasies where she and the guy (who is now her boyfriend) and her mom and her new dad live together in one big happy sappy family.

ahhh. its good stuff.

[r-macduff.livejournal.com]

Does anyone remember the dark and depressing teen novels, like Deenie about the anorexic girl (a Blume novel, if I remember right) and all those sorts? The Katherine Patterson ones come to mind, like Bridge to Terabithia (where the girl dies) and The Great Gilly Hopkins, about an unwanted foster kid who gets a sad but sappy family. Jean Craighead George also wrote books like Julie of the Wolves and a tearjerker called The Cry of the Crow. Some young adult books are just great and fluffy (I love all the ones you've mentioned), but I also read an article in the Wall Street Journal about how they've gotten darker. The reviews included one about a girl who's passed off as her father's girlfriend by him and gets rescued by a transvestite (I shit you not), and one called The Rainbow Party about teenagers gathering for oral sex parties. And there's always the Caroline Cooney mysteries, which were far more graphic and violent than Nancy Drew. Sounds off to me, but then I have a funny but somewhat disturbing one called NASTYbook by Barry Yourgrau, and among the tales in that one is a story about a kid whose rich parents don't really love him but just adopted him for a while and are now sending him back to live with his ugly, gross true family.

[aim-toothpaste.livejournal.com]

Judy Blume and Paula Danziger = best EVAH

[britt-1975.livejournal.com]

OMG!!! That is just *giggle snort* hilarious. I know I'm supposed to be discouraging you...but I desperately want to read these.

[slinkiestumble.livejournal.com]

...must not let the bunnies attack.

Seriously, now you've given me ideas.

[bippimousie.livejournal.com]

SQUEEE!!

How I wish I could write one!

::eyes pile of homework::

...::eyes summaries...::

gah!

I am torn!

[(Anonymous)]

oh my. Oh yes.
This is beautiful beyond belief. I LOVE judy blume there is just absolutely nothing better. Although, I secretly also have a penchant for the baby sitters club. I can't help myself. I'm much too old for these types of books but there's something so irresistibly charming and innocent about them that I can't help it.
I love the summaries you've done, and seriously hope someone makes an awesome job of them. If not, I know it's going to bug me and I'd try, and I know I'd screw it up, so please - someone out there, write these stories!!
~stufler

[seratonation.livejournal.com]

Lol, they sound a lot like the books i used to love at that age (for shame!) especially the second one, but i really want to read the first one, this means war! lol awsome

[zeft.livejournal.com]

I've watched your journal on and off and I've come to the conclusion that you're a terribly cool person. I'm friending you right now.

[sparkysparky.livejournal.com]

Oohh! Can I play? Here's one for you:

As Time Goes By:
Best friends Hermione Granger and Harry Potter knew they'd always be friends. When Hermione is diagnosed with lukemia, how will Harry go on? How can he help Hermione through her illness when he's more scared of anything in his whole life.

and one more (Yes, I know I stole the title, mostly, but go with me please!):

Seamus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging
Seamus Finnigan always knew he was different from the other boys in the neighborhood. When Theodore Nott move in next door, Seamus finds out just how different he really is.

Hee! This is fun! I could do cheesy teen romance ALL DAY LONG!

[alexandripearl.livejournal.com]

Dude, you are awesome. Teen novels are so awesome. Cheesy or depressing. And somehow this idea sounds like the makings of an awesome ficathon.