skoosiepants: (Bob - he can fix unicorns)
[personal profile] skoosiepants
If I were blind I’d know what you are | PG-13 | ~900
Companion/sequel to If you know my name, tell it to me. Jon Walker is still a unicorn.

Bob has no intention of going anywhere near Walker, so it’s a shock to look up and see him sitting there on the edge of the stage, bass in his lap, head bowed.

A/N: I didn’t think it was possible, but this makes even less sense than the first one. You won’t know what the hell is going on at all, though, if you don’t read If you know my name, tell it to me. Title is from The Last Unicorn.

If I were blind I’d know what you are

There are no happy endings, because nothing ends. – Schmendrick, The Last Unicorn

The thing is, Mikey can’t stop talking about the guys in Panic.

Mikey asks, “Have you seen them play?” and Bob shrugs.

He hasn’t, but Mikey’s, like, seriously fucking obsessed. Mikey doesn’t even like their music, but whatever. It’s none of Bob’s business.

“It’s just. There’s something wrong.”

Bob stares at Mikey, but Mikey just blinks back, eyes owlish behind his glasses.

“What?” Bob finally asks.

Mikey shakes his head. “No, um, you’d have to see it.”

Mikey is fucking weird.

*

Mikey’s a quiet dude, but it’s never uncomfortable. Bob likes hanging out with him because he never feels like he has to talk or, like, interact with him in any way whatsoever. Mikey’s always off in his own little world, and sometimes he’ll want Bob to listen to a song or something, but that’s relatively painless, so Bob doesn’t mind.

Mikey’s staring at the side of his head.

“Seriously, what?” Bob asks. He isn’t even short about it. He just wants to know what’s so fucking interesting about the side of his head.

“I’m, like,” Mike says, and Bob looks up from his book and sees Mikey’s mouth moving, can see how the words match up to his sounds, so Mikey actually does say, “Walker won’t let me touch him.”

It’s the single oddest thing Bob’s ever heard Mikey say, and it’s Mikey.

Bob has no idea how to respond to that. He goes back to his book.

*

Bob watches Panic’s set. He’s curious. He takes one look at the bassist and swears, “Jesus fucking Christ,” under his breath.

*

Mikey curls his hands loosely in his lap and says, “But.”

Bob says, “Don’t.”

*

Bob watches Panic play and he tells himself it isn’t the same. That he doesn’t want anything, that there’s nothing wrong. It’s just. He knows.

He dreams. He dreams about dry, crumbling fountains, steadily turning to dust. He dreams of the cold; a cold so deep he can’t even shiver, and in these dreams—he cries. He cries, fucking sobs, because there aren’t any unicorns anymore.

Fuck.

Mikey fucking Way.

*

Bob wakes up with damp cheeks and barely makes it to the bathroom before losing whatever the fuck he ate last night – Cheetos, he thinks, and dry cereal.

He’s pallid, sickly gray, when he stares at himself in the mirror. Dark half circles under dull eyes.

Gerard appears over his shoulder, hands fluttering, expression worried. “You okay?” he asks, and Gerard still looks better than he has in a long fucking while, so Bob doesn’t say anything about the inexplicable guilt eating away at his stomach.

He just says, “Fine.”

*

Bob has no intention of going anywhere near Walker, so it’s a shock to look up and see him sitting there on the edge of the stage, bass in his lap, head bowed.

Bob is going to walk away.

He says, “I know what you are,” instead.

He can’t help feeling a small measure of satisfaction when Walker tenses up, like Bob isn’t fucking crazy, like this is real.

“That’s nice,” Walker says. He stares at Bob.

Bob isn’t sure what he’s expecting, but it isn’t what he sees. He’s too close and too far and Walker’s eyes are fucking creepy and—and wrong. He reaches out and Walker’s frozen, still, and Bob knows, he knows. He knows he can and can’t make it right, and he thinks if he smoothes a finger—just there—he’ll fix it, fix—but.

But.

His hand curls up and he staggers backwards, like he’s been physically pushed even though Walker hasn’t moved an inch, hasn’t even blinked.

Somewhere, some corner of the world that never lived before is dying.

“Sorry,” Bob says, forces past his dry throat.

Walker gives him this tiny fucking nod, like maybe they’re on the same page. He says, “Me too.”

Bob doesn’t think he can forgive him.

*

Mikey doesn’t know anything, not really. Mikey has no fucking clue.

“It’s wrong,” Mikey says, like he has to, like he doesn’t even know what he’s really saying. “You can fix him.”

Bob shakes his head. He could, he definitely could, he wants to, but fuck. He’s pretty sure Walker isn’t really broken.

*

“I know what you are,” someone says, and Jon freezes, every muscle in his body tight.

He forces himself to glance up from his bass, sees Bryar, scowling, hands fisted over drumsticks. “That’s nice,” Jon says.

It’s happened before. It’s unusual, but it’s happened. Jon isn’t going to give Bryar any easy answers.

There’s something about his eyes, though, something frightening in the way his gaze doesn’t waver, and Jon’s breath catches on snow-white stands of birch. On pink-blooming dogwoods, the hum and chorus of cicadas and crickets, the mossy scent of perpetual spring. Jon doesn’t realize Bryar’s reaching for him until his hand’s hovering in front of his face, and maybe. Maybe he should’ve let it happen, should’ve closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. For a moment it
aches, the wanting.

He doesn’t say
no, not out loud at least, but Bryar stumbles back, stumbles like he’s been hit.

“Sorry,” Bryar says, and his voice his gruff, harsh.

“Me too,” Jon says, even though he knows. He knows they’re not sorry for the same things.
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(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ink-on-the-page.livejournal.com
....

i don't know whether to squish them stupid, cry, or both.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
Bob makes me so much sadder than Jon in this for some reason.

thanks, hon.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prairiedaun.livejournal.com
Seriously, my heart clenched. Thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
oh, thank you :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 05:58 pm (UTC)
ext_62811: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mllesays.livejournal.com
For such a crack premise, these stories are amazingly poignant.

Also, I just rewatched The Last Unicorn last night, and dude. Brendon is so that butterfly from the beginning.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prairiedaun.livejournal.com
Red rover, red rover...

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-06 12:12 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] greenlily.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-14 05:44 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firedragon9.livejournal.com
*whimper* But Bob can always fix unicorns. D:

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
but, but -- if he fixes Jon, Jon'll no longer be human!!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] firedragon9.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-06 01:57 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-06 02:44 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 06:31 pm (UTC)
ext_34652: charlotte sometimes being fierce (Default)
From: [identity profile] wishfulclicking.livejournal.com
this is still so awesome. It has such a crack concept, but you're giving it such depth.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] incoherenteye.livejournal.com
oh jonwalker.
and bob. I <3 bob.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
Bob is awesome *nods*

thank you, hon

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cass404.livejournal.com
He's a unicorn, why can't Bob fix him???????

Why can my heart get clenchy on crack fic?

“It’s wrong,” Mikey says, like he has to, like he doesn’t even know what he’s really saying. “You can fix him.”

See, Mikey knows. Bob can fix unicorns. Okay, he doesn't know that precisely but he somehow knows.

Bob needs to fix the Jonicorn.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you, hon! well, you know, if Bob fixes Jon he'll no longer be human? So, like, that's why *nods*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ailleann23.livejournal.com
He dreams. He dreams about dry, crumbling fountains, steadily turning to dust. He dreams of the cold; a cold so deep he can’t even shiver, and in these dreams—he cries. He cries, fucking sobs, because there aren’t any unicorns anymore.

Punch. in. the. gut.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starflowers.livejournal.com
I started writing this unicorn bandom story ages and ages ago and never finished and someone emailed me last night asking me to so it was in my head all day at work, and then I came home to this and it made everything I was thinking (because my unicorn story is ACTUALLY crack and not just something gorgeous pretending to be crack stories) completely ridiculous and barely worth attempting.

I'm not even sure why these are the most heartbreaking bandom stories I've ever read. I hope there's more, I really do.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
I remember that unicorn story! It was very hilarious :)

Anywho, thank you so much :) I don't know why this concept makes so much sense in my head - it's really weird.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 09:48 pm (UTC)
ext_835: (Default)
From: [identity profile] gweneiriol.livejournal.com
It makes me mad that Bob Bryar cannot fix Jon! Also, I'm sorta starting to love Bob Bryar lots and think there should be more Bobfic. So thanks for enabling. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thanks, hon! but, you see, if Bob fixes Jon, he'll no longer be human! He'll be a unicorn again, which is sad *nods*

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] gweneiriol.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-06 12:31 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] o4fuxache.livejournal.com
Luscious and beautiful.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] earth-is-a-star.livejournal.com
It somehow makes sense that Bob Bryar's broken is the place Jon really wants to be. This arc is so quietly stunning.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
yes, you've gotten what I was trying to say! thank you so much :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-05 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seratonation.livejournal.com
dude. Dude you cant just leave it there, you know that right? coz Bob can fix unicorns and shit, because he is just that awesome, so you gotta. *clings*

I love Mikey (lol, i forgot his thing for unicorns XD, awesome)

I have a new icon that is perfect! (sort of)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
that is such a unicorn!Jon icon! It is indeed perfect.

But if Bob fixes Jon... Jon'll no longer be human.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] seratonation.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-07 12:15 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-12 05:28 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elegwen.livejournal.com
I just commented on Found Days, and I totally mean what I said even more. My heart was moved by this. No lie.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
awww, thank you, hon!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writteninsable.livejournal.com
This made me sad. :(

But in a totally good way, oddly enough.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
*g* thank you

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xbedknobs.livejournal.com
So, I cried.
This movie (and then the book, but the movie first, because I've been watching it since before I could walk) is one of my all-time favorites, and I cannot read these without remembering how I always wanted to be Molly, without imagining someone shouting at Jon that said someone can't see himself in Jon's eyes, without getting scared that somehow you're going to work the Red Bull into the story, weave the ocean in and really make me bawl.
If you continue with this story, my heart will continue to break, but in a bendy way. In a good way. Me and my stupid heart-clenchy sobbing self, we implore you to keep writing this, keep making Jonny a unicorn, Skooze. I want more of Bob as Molly. I want to know who his Schmendrick was. I want to know if they make it out of the ocean, in this.



Oh my gatz I'm a freak =\

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
dude, you are so not a freak! thank you so much, hon :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redandglenda.livejournal.com
I feel strangely like crying. This was beautiful, hon.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you so much :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 07:07 am (UTC)
ext_7906: (Default)
From: [identity profile] complications-g.livejournal.com
So, so gorgeous.

He dreams. He dreams about dry, crumbling fountains, steadily turning to dust. He dreams of the cold; a cold so deep he can’t even shiver, and in these dreams—he cries. He cries, fucking sobs, because there aren’t any unicorns anymore.

I love this part so so much.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:03 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] edincoat.livejournal.com
Absolutely lovely. Mikey and the unicorns and Bob and Jon! And the attempt to fix it but no that won't do cos then.. then.

This was gorgeous, and I fail at finding words to express how much.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
*g* thank you, hon

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harpye.livejournal.com
I've got a confession. I've never seen The Last Unicorn. I know, I know! Pray for my soul! But, this makes me so sad and yet want more of it! I'm intrigued.

(BTW, you don't know how happy you've made me with two, TWO!! fics in a row!)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you, hon :)

(BTW, you don't know how happy you've made me with two, TWO!! fics in a row!) I'm posting another ficlet this afternoon. I don't know what's going on with me!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] novalinedy.livejournal.com
I liked it!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 01:19 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-06 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maple-mahogany.livejournal.com
Oh, Bob! *meep*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
He's very sensitive!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-07 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liquitexart.livejournal.com
how did i miss this?? HOW??????

off to read now.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-07 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liquitexart.livejournal.com
AAAAAAAAAHHH. YOU CAN'T LEAVE IT LIKE THAT. HOW WILL I SLEEP?

on another note, i saw the last unicorn on sale at this second hand movie/music store and had no money to buy it. saddd.


loveloveLOVE.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
thank you, hon! and that is indeed TRAGIC! I have it on VHS, but not DVD. Must get on that.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-07 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrsquizzical.livejournal.com
i don't know the source material, but this is just fucking TRAGIC! FIX IT! BOB? MIKEY? JON? SOMEONE? FIX IT!!!!!!!!

(ok. i get that it can't be or whatever. *mourns*)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skoosiepants.livejournal.com
I know! This is a sort a sad world I've created. thanks for commenting!
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